reflections

term tests next week. looked at the time table once more today and was thinking...hey nth to be that stressed abt really....then agn...hmmmm

ahh feeling like i am at a stand still with MP. and at a total loss and blur with PDM. so little subjects this sem and yet they are all heavy weights.

when i look at my reflection i hardly recognise myself. hah. yes mayb its how much weight i have lost. but also i look so tired. and old. with eye bags and wrinkles. i cnt imagine how i'd look like when i am REALLY old.
i wonder why guys are such external creatures?
these few days has just been wierd. phobia of sleeping. and also the loss of apetite. no im not becoming anorexic. just....dont feel like eating. i DO get hungry. and i KNOW i shld eat. but i just dont feel like eating. im guessing that is still a disorder though.
actually....i can explain the phobia of slping part. =x but not the loss of apetite.

i havent been online since monday. starting to feel like im a loner. LOL. and as i have said a few times on FB. i have bipolar moods. like when i left alone to my thoughts i become some emo deep melancholy person. but when im arnd people. i am my bubbly cute irritating self.
and honestly. although i HAVE found my MP3 i still havent touched it at all. weirdly....i loss an interest to listening to music after not listening to it for 3 weeks alr.

just a week more to my impromptu holiday to shanghai. i wonder if i shld have a total R&R or shld i continue with my workaholic streak. im worried what a R&R would do to my momentum u see.

really envy people who go for FAMILY meals/celebrations/holidays/ or have arguments i'd never get one. lately the feelings of anger, disappointment, resentment has been really strong. blame it on my curiousity.