untitled.

so...the day trip to JB was a surprisingly enjoyable one. i cnt wait to go there again for Kbox and crepes hahas. i cnt believe we spent the whole day at 1 mall. 

the so called surprise for lynn's farewell was a successful. it was a pretty big rush for her card but i was happy with the results. and itacho sushi is really so awesome! and as usual the cool calm collected lynn didnt even shed a tear. but for me n vina it was an emotional day...

and once again the fears of being left alone to do my project comes back to haunt me. before it has even started i already feel overwhelmed. maybe when i actually get things sorted out and started i will feel better. afterall the previous pdt development project tt lasted 3 mth passed rly fast too. 

sometimes i really dont understand....i would start wondering if its me...like did i do smth wrong...going round in circles...what happens when only one party tries? i would like to give up and not care. but thats just not me. helpless. and ppl say girls would understand girls better. hmmm....

a family i never had

so today is sort of the last day that i see most of my uni classmates. the last paper is not as bad as i thought it would be it is easy compared to an engineering paper....although i say im not really a business person...its prolly coz i have been trained in a sense for 5 years already as a technical person. but  HONESTLY. im even less of an engineering person!  but there is no time and its too late for regrets now. 

so...it was a bittersweet moment..although i didnt show it. for some...i might still see if they have those kinda gatherings (and if i wanna go) for the others really prolly wont see. 2 years has passed like that. and no...the tittle of this post has nothing to do with this. 

well somewhat partly...lynn will be going to nz for 4 months :( thank god for technology...i know i can still skype her or wadsapp her and stuff...but it wont be the same. it would be so restrained....no more LOL moments...school wouldnt have been the same without her. infact one of the reasons i even decided to join was coz of her...and why im still slogging my guts out too...she is like a sister i never had. just like vina :') 

and so after this onward with my final year project, last repeat mod and the attachement. sorta looking forward to it...after all it is the final thing i gotta do before i graduate. and loneliness wont bug me much after doing FYP on my own...its all about independence. and im sure i can do it.

but what happens after i finish? infact lynn would finish first. and then we would all be seperated...sure clique 6 would prolly still meet up...but Lders...it may get harder. harder but our jesting of growing old together...would remain :') 

Disappointments

previously, i mentioned that through the projects in school i have gotten to know my classmates better and get along with them better....but the recent things that happened showed me that perhaps i was wrong about all that. on two occasions i have been proven wrong. after this things feel like its going downhill. 
i am so glad i dont have to go to school today. i dont really feel like facing them at all. 
behind that smile hides a dagger. perhaps they are all wolves in sheeps clothing. or perhaps they are not as bad and the situation is just a one...or two...off thing. all i know for sure now is that, things will not be the same. i wont dare dream or hope that i have become closer to my classmates. i shouldnt have let my guard down. the walls. should just stay up. 

disappointments only come when you have high expectations. when you have high hopes abt something. now i hope for nothing. because then i wont be disappointed. we shall all live our own lives after this...unofficially in another 18 days. afterall...2/3 of the class is going to NZ. 

ofcourse the quote above doesnt apply to everyone. there are some people that it is just impossible not to get too attached to....

on a side note...trying to lose weight for an upcoming wedding im attending so that i will look nice in the dress. sigh. it is so hard. everytime i try. i feel like im losing myself more than losing weight. the price to pay for beauty...or at least my perception of it. but so far...still no progress...sigh. so hard when i love to eat and love all the fatty food too much.