withdrawal symptoms 2?

ahh! another time like the other time after FT island's fanmeet....i was sooooo disappointed i didnt get to shake hands with jong hun oppa...that was before the concert..but after the whole thing....when it was time to shake hands with seung hyun...i guess at the point shaking hands with ANYONE was alr a good opportunity...i mean how upclose can u get to them! i saw jong hun oppa upclose....SUCH FLAWLESS complexion...and his eyes and smile....-faint- and seung hyun's rap expressions were awesome

its SUPER regretful for me that i didnt bring the digital cam coz i was afraid that they would confiscate or smth...and my fone don take good pics!....oh well looks like gotta take it from lynn levina or vivian then...

vivian is SUPER LUCKY sobs sobs. she got jong hun at the fansign...him at the fan meet...and he chose her note to read out during the interview..!

now they are gone...i forgot to take pics of the card i wrote for jong hun~! and i wanted to make heart shapped straws for him but i didnt have enough to fill the container....

but the experience there again ytd.....was really another great awesome sucessful memorable best experience

heard they are coming again in march...i cant find it in the schedule! but i do hope they will come for their men's stories concert.an ACTUAL concert

on a side note: i hope SHINee would come and have a showcase concert or whatever in SG oneday..considering the amt of fans at the airport was SCARYLY PLENTYand that by 7+ am today more than1000 ppl were alr q-ing for the fansign album.how awesome fanbase is tt?!

well it back to reality tmr as sch starts.

bell

sleepless night

YES LITERALLY SLEEPLESS....
this feels like the time when the RC girls and me were going for our HK trip which was 6am flight....so we didnt sleep as we had to leave for airport by 4am.... well..now is 3.50am and me and levina are still making the cards and gifts etc for FTi...PLUS we are going to start q-ing at st james for the fanmeet...leaving hse at 5am...we refering to me and levina...she stayed over at my hse =)

how am i gonna cope for the rest of the week to sunday?

ONTOPOFTHAT....SHINee came today...and i saw onew's cute shy smile and everything...which makes me fall in love with him more to the point that FT's excitement level has decreased...instead i want to go all the way to chua chu kang to see SHINee when they have their fansign...even though most prob i CANNOT get the opportunity to get the fansign....

why do ALL of my favs come at the same time?! can i really last?
and i suddenly realised...the lyrics of gee is really nice...LOL.

bell

major disappointment

lets see...NEVER start ur HW only AFTER 12....coz you'll end up sleeping only at 3....zzzz

was super excited today...Lders + jui wei wore yellow to celebrate FT coming to singapore...
jui wei and me went airport...ate popeyes.my first time there! waited almost 2 hrs...FT island NOSHOW! they left by the VIP exit! zzzz. how can they disappoint their fans like this!? i duno who was more disappointed...me or juju.lol. at least im seeing em on sat...but ju...couldnt get to see HONGGI...

hoping tmr SHINee wont do the same. i think they wont.since first visit here and all. im sure they would wanna see their fan base =) ft island come 3 times alr...they think they very big la.lol.
mayb coz they're tired and bad mood dun wan their fans see? or they scared get attcked? LOL. =( =( =( =(

and also they changed the rules of the SHINee fansign on sunday....only 1 album/person. so farah cannot help me buy alr! so...i cannot go and sign alr! ROAR! UNFAIRR! i cannot be upclose with my onew alr!

AH still have sooo many things haven prepared for FT! X.X

bell

amusement?

hmmm....i like ppl who amuse me....even better when they dont know it....i amuse myself sometimes...in ways that shldnt exist.

i really wonder what will happen when Lders grow old.lol. it amuses me though..the things we hear...or rather mishear everday.lol.

scene 1:
mr see: if the temperature of the freezer increases too much, there will be a alarm.
levina: EEEEEE!
me and lynn whispering : why her reaction so big??
mr see: blah blah blah
levina: OH! an alarm!ahahhahaha.i thought there will be a LUMP.

scene 2:
Lders random chatter blah blah blah
levina: im like the angel and she's the devil (points to me)
lynn: then im the devil's apprentice
levina: what panties?!?!?

flight details:
FTISLAND (thurs)
9.15pm t2 k641
SHINee (fri)
8.45pm t3 -duno flight no.-

getting SUPER DUPER distracted abt this...thinking what to write to jong hun(in korean).thinking of creative ways to make the card for jong hun + FTi.thinking if i shld make a card for onew.haven even started on the special gift for jong hun...lol....

ahh luckily just one last test left tmr! and then i would have time to get distracted abt all this. just nice! or else...tests and quizes would have sooooo ruined the mood.

how can someone actually flirt using sms?! gees.super casanova =P
stop confusing me with your eyes....

bell

too much to handle

how much is too much....but for this case...too much can never be enough...you're appearing too much before me now. the efforts i have put in seems to have gone down the drain in a snap.seems like whatever i do is useless. i shld just stop trying. it really is vicious cycle. i rmb myself saying and feeling the exact same thing just a yr or less ago. looks like nothing works. I GIVE UP. U WIN.roarroar.

getting more and more excited abt next week.teehee. ONLY because FTi is coming =) but other than tt...NOTHING exciting.so much more to plan LOL. their msg...and my impromptu gift xD

today's h&w event was a success i think! teehee! yay my h&w grp rocks to the max.LOL! teehee.

my diet plan seems to be working for the time being....duno if i reach my target before CNY.

cutting hair tmr. eeks. starting to worry and get nevous.LOL...sighs...i have a feeling my weekend is gonna get eaten up again...hmmm...some commitments i regret. =( over estimated myself.

despite the lateness of today...im gonna pray later. seems like i have ALOT ALOT to pray abt. more like ALOT ALOT to talk to god about. just let me finish my lab report first....zzzz

bell

getting tired of waiting

ahahaha! my blog title is my song of the day...! i just get those words out of my head...kedarigorya nol kedarigorya "waiting, im waiting for you" getting tired of waiting by 2pm. i must say the really first song i love by 2pm

super tired today....not getting anything done again now by coming online.just always end up talking to my msn buddy.lol.=P so wierd....and i have tests tmr!

super excited abt h&w project! mayb...mcdreamy will come...odd how i have kinda switched my concepts after coming back from europe =o

"relationship" is like a luxury item. expensive.not everyone has or can afford.some dream abt "owning" one.some try to get the latest up-to-date ones.some change all the time. guess which am i.

bell

miracles and distractions

as i said...i just needed to get distracted by something else like my projects and projects and projects and quiz and i could take my mind off my...distractions alr.yupp work at times today. and right now...all im thinking abt is FT and SHINee who will be coming! woots! jong hun oppa~ onew oppa~ keedahreesaeyo! and also perhaps...a SUPERshow 2 concert by SUPER junior in march KL?? ahahahha

a miracle happened today.some may brush it off as a coincidence...but i duno why i felt like it was something else. coz me and levina tried to open our fren's locker today to get some stuff and we were trying to open for 30mins! and then when my fren came she tried a few times...she is also a christian so she asked me to pray....and i started prayer asking god to give juiwei the ability to open...that with his power and strength open the locker for us etc. and suddenly. i heard the click sound! the locker opened. wierd how he works in small wonders...but refuses to work my HUGE problems

today was a funny day althogether...LOL.laughed a whole week's worth.totally awesome.love my h&w project mates yo. hope we can work together for future projects =)

sometimes if u stop and think....u'd wonder "eh? why ever did i think this. why did i say this. why did i act this way? i always asking myself those.lol guess im never sure abt anything.

bell

begining of the week

hmm...today quite slack. lots of lects canceled due to H&W event. ianson came over to eat at tp. i wish he came over more often....had a great time just chilling
but soon he is going to army alr =( ahhh i cannot get over that fact. time passes too fast.

hmm...this stupid misunderstanding is causing me a great deal of aniexty.lol. i will get over this soon. i just need to focus on smth else. it would go away soon.the upcoming quizes and project deadlines would help me im sure

do not smile at me with that smile. coz it melts my cold heart.
do not look at me with those eyes. coz it makes me more confused.
do not talk to me with that gentleness. coz that voice resounds in my head.
do not walk away. coz i need u by my side.
but if u do, please look back and give me that smile, look at me with those eyes and say "bye." with that gentleness

bell

stepped away from reality.

today went to sch at 9am for a talk...supposed to last till 12 but ended arnd 10.30-11am...
was cool to sit in a fellow classmate's car....had lunch with Lders, benjamin and jim. wierd combi but....oh well brought us all a step closer.
Lders went orchard area and shopped for FTi's present.teehee. found it...we bought....-twinkles-*.* its a dirty little secret =X

then after we seperated ways i finally went to ikea to get my big box to dump and camouflage my room such that it looks neater.oops.

i took this from LZ's blog...where he took from another blog.

(p.s change the gender of the stick figure.) connect the dots urself please.nothing else could be more complicated.dots.

i am terrified to sleep. me and mummy attempted to kill a lizard and it just disappeared....eeks! sorry levina for teasing u the other time =( its retribution! gonna take lots of precautions now. mothballs, panda leaves, tea bangs.lol

bell

been waiting for this day for far too long....

ahhh today was GR888T!
if only everyday was like today TOTAL highligh of the year so far...going out with vivian, nicholas, andrius and ianson. sometimes i really wish i turn back time... thats why memories are so important i guess. really miss em so much! =( -sobs-

and also...got lots of things done for H&W project.yayness.

my internet is still irritating me though.

tmr setting off to buy FT present. WOOTS just less than 2 weeks more and i can see jonghun oppa!! and following 2 more days i can shake his hand.eeks! -faints-

guilt is a scary thing...kept me tossing and turning all night...however.... it is most likely a misinterpretation on my part anyways

seems like there are still somethings i have yet to let go...or just cant seem to let go =(

bell

state of confusion

eks BD cut hair...and now that the eastern europe trip experience has worn off....looks like he is back on the top.

things are looking much brighter today and hopefully tmr.after the appearance of BD the winds seemed to have changed direction. ahahha. hope to keep it that way as tons of test waiting for me to study.

h&w project is getting fun...to me that is...coz i have the experience of tryna make/design keychains...sourcing materials from various sources...suddenly like event planning...lol. and also thanks to my awesome grp mates who have such patience with me.ahahha. i think all 5 of us complement each other well =) LOVE <3!

i cannot be affected by what others say. its driving me crazy with the same same question in my head. i don wanna add an 's' to that word.

how come after all this years u can still make me shed unwanted frustrated tears?


bell

typical singaporeans

i hate it when ppl cut q and they think they are in the right.i hate it even more when i just shut up and let it happen.

another terrible day. the days just keep winning each other in that aspect.
the fact that exams are coming soon aren't any comfort.

what's the use of having handfones when u don pick em up? esp when someone called just short of 10 times. when this happens a sorry would be nice.

is it better to cry due to frustrations/anger, to cry due to fear or to cry due to sadness?
been doing too much of all lately.

the only best thing today. going to HPB.

why wasnt i born with a better brain? at this rate...how could i study up to masters?

bell

on thin ice

ADFS makes me impatient and irritated....i think evil thoughts when i see dr mabel.
last night and today...another terrible day....

i can forsee another contributing factor to the thin ice breaking...H&W project....

i don think anything could get worse right?? it better not.

just another 16 more days to see FTi.

bell

.....

yes as i predicted...ytd was a wasted day. and so was today.
i shld just go and live in sch....since i spend most of my waking day there....on avg 91/2 hrs a day. only 5 hrs at home AWAKE. but then again...most of the time spend at home is also dedicated much to sch. so.....life is so unfair sometimes...and studying is such a misery.
but don get me wrong...when i say wasteed is not coz i spend the whole day doing sch work...is coz i DIDNT do ANY.

i hate thinking i need to depend on anyone for any reason. but sad truth i do.

i constantly question myself abt my faith. im trying to do more things to increase it. to prove to myself its my own willingness and not by default. but i still see myself far from the rest. and in that aspect i have no confidence. i just don see god working in my life all the time. i don feel his presence. im so afraid one day i'll just decide to leave.

bell

weekends?

is friday considered a weekend? i think it was the best day of the week this week?
collected FT fanmeet tix from farah and poster too. awesomeness. on top of that...cycling at ecp with LITTLE ppl arnd so it was DA BOMB.lol. the sea was sooo blue...and the sky too except the sun was too hot but it was really windy...although it threatened to rain ocassionaly...it only rained after we finished.WOOTS. if there was this...would fridays be as exciting anymore? esp if lgee was changed to sat.

now is already sat. shld be considered sun already. why do i feel like my weekends have been wasted alr? i can just imagine tmr (sun) being wasted away too....hmm sometimes i REALLY feel i have to DRAGG myself arnd....esp today. i dun like it when i feel like its such a chore. i feel insincere....? why i cant i be like the rest? but then again....i wouldnt really know if they feel its a chore too.

i like to try and keep things simple and naive when it comes to these kinda things. why is there frenship politics? no wonder ignorance is bliss...

bell

2010

the year 2010 seemed promising to me in 2009....but when i think abt it...all the 'promising' things seem to disappear...im starting to get negative again...which sucks and is terrible.
right now i must say im not the happiest person in the world in singapore in the east or in my hse.

my obession is getting worse...i feel like i am going insane with thoughts in my head..even while typing this my obession is taking over me....this is crazy. but i cant help it....what can i do? mayb it isnt anything serious....and im making a mountain out of a molehill. but....to me....

cant wait for FT island to come in 22 days when i can take out my dusty pentastick and wave frantically abt and shouting my voice hoarse....but then again....nothing would make me happier when the day comes that dbsk is back together...all as it was before....listening to their songs make me sad. watching them perform together makes me cry. it isnt even 2 years since i fell in love with em. i shld have noticed them earlier. definately dragging my dvds to china with me. prolly if everything is terrible....that and levina would be the only thing keeping me sane.

anyone has a reliable chinese electronic dictonary to lend? traditional book type also welcome.
sleep deprieved me....

=bell=

fan girling part 31

anjell live performance...yonghwa <3!
SHINee performance at golden disk awards shinee world+RDD woots~ they look good and have some new slick moves yo!

suju sorry sorry remix! LOVEEE ryowoks voice. no idea if i spelt correctly. i coundnt recognise it was sorry sorry at first =P

no time to talk much. need to study tahhs

bell

love x3

okay i am rushing my assignments now. eeks. been super busy since the new year started. first it was our LGee new year party at Ryan's hse.with potluck,gift exchange and reflections abt the year. plus watching UP and attack of the pin up boys (suju) i didnt sleep till 4?

then the next morning, at 10am is amy and ber's wedding. woots! he looks awesome in his military uniform and she looks sooo stunning in her wedding dress. sighs...AND they had the sword arch by the groom's fellow army people in uniforms too.where the bride and groom walked under
the wedding lasted till 1 plus and i went over to rach's hse to slack for a while before meeting XY and mao mao at bedok to buy ingredients for our steamboat & grill dinner.

anyways...reflecting on the year made me really thankful so i really would like to give a shout out of thanks
thank you my life group the tam tams.esp ryan. u guys have really helped me grow with my walk with god and i REALLY hope we can be in the same LG for at least 10 more years.ahahha.thanks to esp the female tam tams for being such great listeners and sharing abt everything under the sun. i think we really bonded alot this year. thank you rachel and dianh for teaching me cycling and encouraging me to be an SGL. thank you rachel for always fangirling with me even when ur tired and asking me to be in the carolling com to get to know all the other carolling com people better. yay! yu ru lets work together and be great SGLs. i believe through this we can help each other grow more with god and also bond more with each other! and yay! liang zhi! FT island;honggi fanboy.teehee.thanks to those who made the bdae cake for me....REALLY wont forget! it was quite touching really.

thanks you Lders.thanks to u two darlings...i am less moody now days...throw tantrums lesser. thanks lynn for being so cute and patient and letting us 2 always poke fun at u! soul sucking 500 yr old lady! aahhaaha. and thanks dearest levina for secluding urself less....and being more positive so i am more positive too! and also sharing and spazzing on eye candies! hehehe.we have heart to heart connection! LOL.

thanks to RC girls. although we seldom get to meet....coz of lots of clash in schedules, but i still really enjoy our outtings...though what we usually talk abt is nothing substantial....there is still alot of laughs. thanks xy and net for ur craziness~ and also mao mao for her patience. i really enjoyed our HK trip. holiday again soon!

my sincere new year wish would be that DBSK would be as one again and come back to korea and release a korean album and start all their perfs and variety programmes togeter

bell