16th post in china

the weekends are coming to and end in a few hours time. i am going to make FULLL FULLL use of it by ironing and blogging and....idk...aahaaha
sooo...... anyways i think i had like the longest webcam convo with my mum ytd. and we talked like old times like i was back in SG and we were sharing abt our day with each other in the car on the way home.....ahh~

and i spent like 300RMB = to 60SGD ytd in a single day. wow right. ahahhaha but i bought TONS of things
i bought like a yellow tee. and a yellow slippers.(another slipper!) and my mum was funny she said it was to match my yellow specs so i can go for FT concert! aahahahah! that is a BRILLIANT idea...why didnt i think of that? NOW i ammm sooooo preped for them to go SG again.
and then i bought black 3/4 (which is similar to HIS berms....SOOO not on purpose. hope we never ever wear it on the same day =x)
and then i bought this UBER cool contact lenses cleaning set thing...ahahaaha like some pro in the optitian shop.
then...i bought a bra...AGAIN! this is like the 3rd one i bought here. and not counting the tons of bra straps i bought too before. (oops extra info =P) gees. lynnette! ur influence is spreading far and wide!
and then when i went to metersbowne....it saw TONS and TONS of tees that i can buy for LGEE guys and andrius, ianson, nic etc. ahhh~! broke broke broke le la!
and then i bought sun block...which smells like....PINEAPPLE! ahahahahha! and i bought a body scrub for like 2 SGD coz it was on offer! OMGG....

speaking of which i have finish buying gifts for almost all the LGEE girls except a few still looking arnd to see what to get...EKS!

wanna know something else super awesome? ytd i drank my sparkling wine...and i got turned off by the taste...wow right. and now i cant even stand he smell of blueberrywine...yippee...seems like i back to normal now disliking alcohol. no idea what came over me the other time. i guessed now that i have tried...im no long curious.

(credit: rach's blog)
get it? haahhahahhah~!

idk.i just feel the need to be happy and bubbly right now in the light of recent events. so that my smile will light up the day temporarily for someone. so that i will be able to comfort that someone. and so that that someone can lean on me. and i will be able to take that someone away from reality and the stress and worries reality offers. so that i will be able to share the burden and yet not be affected. coz i know that when i frown so do u. when im sad so are u. when im worried u worry more. i oddly thank god that i am able to do something like this for someone.

we're one 1+1 = 1 (credit: lz's blog) (wow. are u surprised at these words? coz i am...aaahhaha.eks~)

bell

15th post in china

wow! wee~ it is friday today. yesterday was thursday. and tomorrow is saturday and the day after is sunday~! aahhaha. rambling. i am now currently in the midst of doing an experiment on my own! how exciting is it?? teehee. first time maaa~ senior busy u see.

ahhh end of working days...for the week. and everyone seems tired. except me? although i am not worry free. but my worries and pains seem so trivial.ahahaha. mayb because im tired of being so lifeless and listless and moody....so that i can help ppl arnd me!

god provides. seriously. coz i was asking rach to send me the next few mth's daily bread book but she said that china will check mails so if they see some christian stuff they will confiscate and throw. and then i told eugene that and he helped me to find and subscribe to daily bread EMAILS. how cool is that? i didnt even know. ahhaahhaa. now i have daily bread at the convinence of anywhere.

so....today's one says...that our time is in god's hands. we can go anytime. some of us may have shorter lives than others. he has already planned out our life. the thing is....are we trusting him for what he has planned next for us tomorrow, the day after, and for our whole life's calendar?
quote: Our times are in God’s hands; our souls are in His keeping.

that gets me thinking.....so how should i use my remaining time here on earth. how can i and how should i spend it wisely.

i need more direction in life. i dont wanna walk aimlessly and without a purpose. god please guide me so i will not lose my way again.

bell

14th post in china

and so the weekends are just peeking around the corner. lalala~ shld i be looking forward?

it finally rained today after the past few days of scorching sun. just came back to work today but as usual doing nothing. i better prepare for the hot weather to come. need sunblock. and the dorm room is getting quite stuffy and hot. zzzz....

there are many reasons why i dont like to show my true feelings.
1. so that u wont feel vulnerable
2. to avoid hurt/offence
3. some true feelings are ugly.

sometimes i wish that i had no emotions. i hate sadness, anger, jealousy, sometimes even happiness. coz i always wonder....how long can i be this happy before my bubble bursts?

quote: if u never take the risk to get hurt. u never know what kinda of happiness u can get.

but sometimes.....is it really worth it?

its funny how me and andrius have seemed to grow apart. ever since that last misunderstanding... now i realise it was all along me keeping us together. did it really had to take a fight to see? i guess i was just ignoring that fact all along and in denial. maybe i should have taken a step back earlier to see the bigger picture. do i need to find everything new about him through FB? it saddens me alot to how things come to a stage like this. or am i just overthinking things and he is really just busy. i just have to try working things out again when i go back.....to shorten the gap between us.

suddenly wonder how different things would be when i go back to SG.

bell

fangirling 47

teehee~ mblaq's Y live is out! woots~ and joon at the last part....KYAAA~! ahaahha


and also LOVE cn blue's new song. and yong hwa is looking good. poor him though....may need to go operation for his vocal cords?!?! O.O


andandand im still waiting for shinee's comeback....
andandand suju going to SG FOR SHOWCASE!!!!! which i am not there!!!!! ROAR!!!!!
on a side note. i cannot believe shindong has a gf and proposed to her alr. wowowowow.

and lastly, i never thought that there would ever come a day like this.....BUT i actually prefer DBSKs JAP ver. of love in the ice than their KOREAN ver. WOW. shocked myself. just that....the lyrics for the jap ver. is sooo much more meaningful and romantic. kekeke. i no longer want "my little princess" as my wedding song alr.....i want love in the ice (MUST BE JAP VER.) =x the song is my blog song now btw. teehee~ feel a sudden need to support dbsk alot

Tohoshinki - Love in the Ice romaji

Tsumetai sono te kimi no sei ja nai
Osanaki hibi otta kizu kakae
Dareka wo aisuru koto osoreteru no
Kotoba no uragawa se wo mukete

Dakishimeta kokoro ga koori no you ni sotto tokedasu

* Daremo ga dareka ni aisareru tame ni
Kono yo ni inochi wo kiramekaseru no sa
Sore ga moshi mo boku nara mou ichido kimi no kokoro wo
Towa no yasashisa de atatameru yo…

Unmei no itazura (kokoro wo itamete mo)
Sono namida no saki ni wa
Hitosuji no hikari ga (yami no naka maiorite)
Bokura wa kizuku sa

Kurushii hodo ni tsuyoku kanjiaeru hito no nukumori

Daremo ga motteru kanashimi ya kodoku
Iyashite moraeru basho sagashiteiru
SO… Kimi ni wa sono basho ga koko ni aru sa osorenaide
Mou mayowanaide boku ga mamoru

Setsunai hodo (My heart) utsukushii
Ai dakara (Don’t be afraid)
Hakanai hodo (Let you know my love) uruwashii
Kono toki wo… (You know… Let you know my love)

* Repeat

DBSK - Love in the Ice Translation

It’s not your fault those hands are freezing
Born from those childish days, you carry the scars
Are you afraid to love someone?
Pretending you don’t see the other side of the words

Like ice, the embraced heart slowly starts to thaw

* For anyone to be loved by someone,
Makes life in this world shine
If it was me, I’d make your heart warm once more
With eternal tenderness

Even if fate’s mischief pains the heart
On the other side of those tears,
A single ray of light will swoop down into the darkness
We know

As strong as the feeling of suffering, we can feel people’s warmth

Everyone is searching for a place
That can heal their sadness and loneliness
So… for you, that place is here
Don’t be afraid, don’t hesitate anymore, because I’ll protect you

My heart is pained
Because this love is so beautiful, don’t be afraid
Even if it’s just momentarily, I’ll let you know my love
This time is beautiful, you know… let you know my love

* Repeat

bell

god is good

god is good. he answers prayers. even no is an answer. just if we want to accept it anot. but we should always rmb to thank him. even if things dont go our way. we should never take for granted the love he has for us.

god helps us through our darkest hours. only if we seek him and not only depend on our own strength. however, god only helps those who helps themselves. yesterday's daily bread says: that we should not seek jesus just because we want something from him. we should seek him because we want to. and only through him can we be complete and whole spiritually.Only Jesus can give wholeness to a broken life. he can work miracles in our lives if we lift our lives up to him.

i am suddenly glad god has sent me here to touch and work in the lives of others. and especially one particular person that is dear to me =xand i am proud of myself for bringing him closer to god and that he wants to know god more now. just like today's daily bread says: "Do you know someone who needs to know what Jesus has done? Don’t make excuses for what you lack in abilities. Instead, share the good news of what the Lord has done for you, and your life will take on new purpose. —C. P. Hia" ".......Bringing hope to hopeless people, Telling them that Christ’s the way. —Sper" "When we are thankful for what we have, we want to share it with others."

i am thankful for how god has worked in my life for the past 2 years. and i would like to share this good thing with you because u are that important to me and i would love to help u in anyway i can to ease ur burden.=D
and also because of you. i am even more determined to keep up with my daily commitment of praying and spending time with the lord. so i also thank the lord for you =)

bell

misc..

somethings are meant to remain unspoken
somethings are meant to be left unsaid
what happens when the words meant to be unsaid are spoken?
those can never be taken back.

maybe my ears had heard then.
but only now my heart listens.
maybe my head had registered the words then.
but only now my heart reacts.

somethings are never meant to happen
somethings should never occur
but what happens when it happens?
and then suddenly you are unsure

when u have a bite of something good
you would ask for more
but when u finally get used to the taste
you find it will soon be no more.

13th post in china

weekends have came and gone again....

atmosphere is cold here...i hope it gets settled soon seems like everything needs time. and time has proven once again all problems can be solve. im glad the atomsphere is warming up. im also glad me and levina always settle our issues quick and never lets it last till the next day. did they have same issues last year? or were they much happier without the drama surrounding them?

have i ever wondered if i regret coming here? YES alot. the ups and downs here are really taking a toil on me.
i am sick and tired of having a taste of a good thing and then it gets taken away just like that.
i am so annoyed that the bad things seemed to be out weighing to good
i am so frustrated that issues keep coming up one by one and taking forever to solve

but...people always say u can never have too much of a good thing. and that all good things come to an end but the bad just keeps coming.isnt it?

it was a mistake no doubt. but why am i glad the mistake happened? =x although i keep saying i can forget. but i seem to fail to convince the most impt person. myself. now im stuck. and i feel so vulnerable. i cannot pull myself away even though i want to because we're starting to be dependent on each other. but what happens when it has to come to stop? what will my preventive measure be now...? it seems like im too late....

bell

12th post in china

YUM! had authentic thai food here! for like....30 dollars? for tom yum soup, pineapple friedrice,yellow potato chicken curry, sambal french beans, 4 types of tasting platter....WOWOWWOOWOW~ yumm! and OMG there is actually SAMBAL! yay. we were too full to eat dessert....BUT! they have mango sago and sticky rice with mango! lynnette! where are u to eat with us?! ahahaha~dont worry we will go and eat and then take pics and post on FB!

been slacking the whole week. sighs. why did i come here again?

oooo mblaq's new mv for their new song 'y' is out!....KYYAAA~ love joon and thunder.

lalala its friday tmr.woohoo~ FINALLY....but the week past like sooo fast! with a VOOM.ahahhahah.this week. happy week.

no idea why. unexpected things have been said and unexpected things have been done....will it really be that easy to remain as we are?
im starting to get more and more scared everyday.its a combination of factors.that i have no idea why.....
it gets worse when everyday the heart beats gets faster and i have trouble catching my breath.
i wasnt even like this before!this is terrible. its getting dangerous.
SOS!

bell

11th post in china (230th post)

the weekends have come and gone. doing a mundane report. yawns.

i think i havent seen this kinda drama for a very very long time since secondary school.

all the complications....although it is tiring. i kinda miss it. ahahahha! wads life without complications right? more intersting no? and u learn smth from it all the time. but....the feeling kinda sucks sometimes. and i feel so tired everyday.

who knew i will never get rid of this curse following me? will history repeat itself or will this become smth more? these few days been thinking and suddenly im scared....really scared.hahhaahha. is this the phobia people talk about? yes. and its his fault all these years.need.to.get.over.the.phobia.

went to sit ferriswheel on sunday....ahahhahaha it was sooooooo amusing to see a certain someone get so nervous....prolly the first time i see someone's phobia in action =P as for the actual ride....hahah nothing exciting really. feels like im just siting on cable car. had sushi buffet....hmmm...didnt like the sitting arrangment....it was an anti social arrangment. and i think the coke was spiked.hhahahaha. went high after drinking it. and everyone went crazy over the toy grabber machine thingy except me. -.-. felt so....sian then. ahhaah. but i got a bear. hahahha. it shall accompany me for now. poor him though. lol. it gets the best and worst of my moods =x

rainy days so far. althought i love the rain vs the sun...but that = puddles and wet floor...= wet shoes.

just saw the internal organs of a mice. teehee. so cute and minified. and surprisingly...the blood is really dark red. more like maroon.hahahha.

side note. i love gossip girls TTM! HAHAHHAAH. wierdly i cannot wait for fri's possible movie night. and mayb theme park and KTV?

darling lynnette! you are missed dearly! we must have a dbsk concert marathon/cooking session soon with all 3 of us Lders! i love you =)

lights, camera, action. roll the tape!i feel like we're filming a drama...drama of life.
step into the world of love and hate. jealousy and anger. happiness and sadness. schemes and plans.
dont expect anything less than complications. or you'll be disappointed at the complexity of things.

bell

10th post in china

alcohol is scary. esp when people get drunk and crazy =( it scared the shit out of me and i ended up crying...and today i suddenly feel guilty. coz i didnt stop my friends from drinking...........and instead we encouraged each other to feel high! wtf am i doing? what example am i showing? i am soooo sining again! and because of that...i feel...dirty? or am i just too uptight? whatever it is, i shall lay off alcohol for a while. phobia
but then....if a person who usually keeps things to himself. and usually are quiet and has alot of things troubling him....and he drinks and feels happy and worry free....shld we let him drink? i feel happy to see him happy....but....is that the right way to handle it?

i need to pray for forgiveness again! ahhh =(

the weekends...seem to be over-ing soon....

im glad i have a load off my mind now and i can acutally breathe a sigh of relief and not feel suffocated by my own thoughts. however, that isnt the end of it. some issues just cant be solved yet
and i think....i have commitment issues.lol. i sound like a guy now.

bell

9th post from china

its hard when i have the gift of laughter. LOL.sounds BHB. but i guess thats what i realise....that my gift/talent from god is to bring laughter to others and cheer em up when they are down. esp my dear friends.
but where does that leave me? who is there to cheer me up? even when i feel down and emo. i still have to take a deep breath and suck it up, put it to the back of my mind and think of smth funny/witty/cheeky whatever to say. and finally when that person in question is feeling better, then i can deal with my own feelings. how tiring is that?
but 2 person in the same room cannot be emo at the same time. the atmosphere will just freeze. so that just leaves me with......no choice?
so next time if u see me laughing without that sparkle in my eyes. know that im crying inside. then again....i hate it how my eyes seem to always give my emotions away~ rachel....i dun wanna talk with my eyes =( people have poker face...i wanna have poker eyes =P ahahhahahhha.

sometimes i really wonder if all these confusion, complications, doubts, worries are all necessary....it does nothing but keep playing in our minds and drags us down. and we still have what....arnd 2 more mths to go?! please let all the sadness end here. i don't think i can always act strong. rach....please pray for me =(

so i guess sometimes...i really need a breather. and i found out that....reading alone in the steps of the corridor with the fresh and cold air is a really good place. however, it cannot be long. coz either i would freeze to death on the steps. or feel creeped alone at night...or....i need to pee. LOL!

anyways.....GUESS WHAT?! while on a random exploration of the supermarket, there is chilli sauce, jam spread, SKIPPY peanut butter. LOL. oh well....i guess its only right they have all those right? its not like they are living in another planet =P so....I ATE PEANUT BUTTER AND BREAD TODAY! WEEEEE~ ㅋㅋㅋㅋ. its sooo funny. coz its not like i really love peanut butter or whatever. even though i must have looked like i love it. LOL....its more like 一分钟热度...only thing is...mummy isnt here to finish the rest up =P luckily im not the only one eating the peanut butter XD.

andandand the weekends are here! i hope this would lift everyone's spirits! im totally looking forward to sunday....unless...it rains or...everyone just wans to hide in their rooms. that would just burst my happy bubble.

on a side note. totally unrelated. i miss seeing the 5 of em together as 1. why are they all solo now? it just seems totally different and empty....-criesabucket-

when there is even a whiff of romance = many whiffs of complications and headaches.get worse when.....3's a crowd...?

bell

8th post in china

hmmm....my emotions got the better of me ytd. i hit the peak of my all time low. LOL. oximoronic words...and weirdly...it got triggered by watching gossip girls! how retarded is that. when GG is supposed to be....bitchy and funny?
practically ran back to the dorm and hid under the covers till levina came to rescue me and we ended up implusively drinking our blueberry wine. i really really think i wasnt drunk....but i felt soooooo hot and i was soooo red and i started just talking nonstop....but i really think...it was all an act to keep me from thinking about anything at all. if i wanted to...i could stop talking and laughing.
but after the effects of the alcohol went off....i felt more sober than ever. and had a new goal in mind.

this morning i woke up feeling fresher and 'reborned'. its so funny how a few weeks here has done this to me. i dont think i wanna go through that again. alcohol never helps...it just takes ur mind off it for a while, but the problem is still always there.

this week is a bore. got nothing to do except to listen to music...TOTALLY kinda addicted to BONAMANA....watching GG, and letting my mind wander over the issues of others. and also im gonna get down to reading my book later...wonder what to write in my log book this week. zzzz.

prayer: (LGEE members who read this...please help. love you guys!)
dear lord. forgive me for i have sinned yesterday. i turned to alcohol instead of you. i do seek your forgiveness. please help me renew my self and my spirit. that i may be a better person. that i shall lift up my worries and troubles to you. so that u can decide what is best for me. for i know i do not make the best decisions. or i may end up making decisions that will displease you. like yesterday. i will not run away and hide from my troubles anymore, i shall no seek solace and shelter in my sleep and dreams....i shall just seek you. while you are deciding and planning out the path for me to take. please let me be a genuinely happy person. and not just having a plastered smile on my face. and also, i pray for the safety and protection of everyone here. that u will bless us everyday and lead us away from danger. Amen.

bell

fangirling 45 the kpop comebacks

OMG i soooo need to post this first. this is junsu's new mv and i cannot believe i only found out abt it ytd. and the dance is just tooooooo sexy and like OMG....levina nosebleeds.lol. and the lyrics are soooo R21 and.....WHY IS MY CUTE AND INNOCENT JUNSU BECOMING LIKE THIS? dun like the song much....but love the dance....hehehehhe.
name of song is intoxication. so...go figure! ahahahha.


next is suju's new single bonamana! WEEEEE i think i will sooo love this song....kekekkee.but.....NO KANGIN!RAWR.


and then there is FT's NEW single MV too.though i still TOTALLY hate their hair...BUT OMGGG THE MV IS AWESOME THE SONG IS AWESOME TOO.even though its jap.which i usually dont like their jap... kekeke i love how jaejin is singing and how jonghun works the guitar! kekekeke. and as much as i hate to admit it....honggi's vocals is awesome~


lastly, mblaq's 2nd song teaser. ekekeke.joon ah~


unfortunately...i believe that shinee's come back has been postponed T.T
enjoy~
bell

7th post in china

WOW.nescafe works wonders....i am SUPER surprised at myself for being addicted to coffee....it TOTALLY helps tp brighten up my day and put a smile on my face...which is odd coz in SG it has no effect or what so ever.

did more shopping again ytd....rawr...spending too much.LOL.

today.....didnt go anywhere special either. lalalla. another boring weekend...yawns...

ooo tmr is monday again...woohoo...unlike the rest. i actually like the weekdays to come...even though i may have nothing special to do....and just stone in the lab..but....i duno gives me time away from the rest and like.....prolly if i have alot of things to do (which i really hope will occur often in the week)....my mind wont wander abt....otherwise i'll get emo again....and start overthinking things...
and besides...i myself dont like people to be emo.....so i shldnt let people see me emo-ing.i'll hide away....ahahhaha...

i forgot to mention that nanchang is a pineapple paradise....kekeke. jui wei are u reading this?? im ur pineapple girl! who eats pineapples almost everyday =P
fruits i miss....mangosteen...longans....lychees... vegs i miss....brocoli...ladys fingers...long beans...french beans...

i love gossip girls TTM! i oddly cry when i watch that show. prolly coz its sooo real and touching sometimes. and i found out a girl senior here also likes to watch and she immediately guessed that i thought chuck was the most handsome =P sorry rach dear....i duno where to watch gleee...any suggestions?

i give up trying to keep a distance and i give in to whatever this is.
but....im still scared.am i playing with fire and just taking too much a risk?
am i putting myself out there too much....only to be disappointed and sad later?
only time will tell

when will i be able to sleep a normal time? or will this end up as another recent bad habit of mine? to just hide and seek solace in dreams

awesome quote from gossip girls
" tell me what's on your mind, so that it can be on my mind. and then it'll be on both our minds. so our minds can work together to solve what was on your mind in the first place"

bell

6th post from china

weee! this week passed really fast and its the weekends alr! kekekek! this week has been more....wisely spent? ahahaha...learnt more things and got to do experiments.FINALLY. i cannot wait to see what we do during the weekends...and im looking forward to my pile of ironing and cleaning...at least that would keep me occupied....

been sleeping really early these few days...ranging from 11 plus to 12. wow! i amaze myself....sighs...i have NO IDEA how i can sleep that early here and immediately fall into deep slumber. but in SG....ahahah another story altogether.

i guess....its my cowardness...i just wanna avoid situations incase it just slaps me in the face.... i wanna just hide in my dreams and take shelter. i dont wanna think about things...it makes me head spin and makes me mentally exhausted. if the truth hurts....i'd rather not know. coz i duno how to deal with it. i just wanna shut it out and hoping it'll go away like a passing shower.
why does everything need to be so complicated and confusing? why cant anything be simple anymore? when there is just black and white and no grey? im just so tired. i want everything to go back to before all this happened. if i knew this was gonna happen....i wouldnt have come to china. i didnt sign up for this!-criessobscries-

lallalaala. i need to be happy. at least plaster a smile on my face when im not. and drink more nescafe coz it kept me happy all day today coz i dun wanna affect the mood of people arnd me.coz they need to be happy inorder to keep my mood good. if the atmosphere was glum...ahahaha GG. so would mine.....im just hoping....this would fade away soon....if not i'll just kidnap my heart...tie it up and lock it in the cupboard.

bell

fangirling no.44

jaechunsu us gonna have another lawsuit in hand! why is it never ending?!?!?!
on 7th may! which is today! SM Entertainment basically asked the court to: 1. Revoke their disposition where they allowed the three members to act freely while the case is under way, 2. Confirm that the contract between SM and the three members is valid, and 3. Make the three members pay 2.2 Billion₩ (around $2,000,000) in damages incurred for the cancellation of the Shenzhen concert.

mblaq's new mv comeback is arnd the corner! WOOTS...ahhaha and joon is the lead actor?? ahahahahha! i have NO IDEA why im so hyped abt this....must be the nescafe i drank this morning.

onew oppa is gonna be a host on a variety show! yayness!KEKEKE! he is sooo funny and cute with his lameness and gags
>
andandand suju is also making their comback! but....without darling kangin T.T! sighsssss i thought he can come back and work alr! this is too long a haitus! omg its coz he is going into army in oct! criesss! unfair! rawr.
his msg:
Hello, it’s Kangin. You’re all well, right? As you all know, I’ve been taking some time to think about what I did and to look back at myself.I decided to post this after a couple times of deleting and re-writing.I would like to bow down and apologize to those that loved me and cheered me on.My days have been filled with reflecting on myself, thinking why I ignored important things around me.Fans asking me whether I will be joining Super Junior for the 4th album made me think about a lot of things.
And it made me write this.
The 4th album is almost complete and we’re all just waiting for the day that we will be able to meet our fans again…and because I think that it is still too early for me to return and that I need more time to reflect on myself,I don’t think I’ll be able to meet with you this time.Military service is a duty for all Korean males, and I’ve been thinking about when I should fulfill the duty myself.I decided that now is the time to do so.The exact date hasn’t been decided yet, but I will be joining the army in the near future.I’ve been cheering our members on and I’ve been thinking that we’re all on the stage together.
Please show lots of love for the new album; our members put a lot of effort into it.
Kangin doesn’t exist without Super Junior, so please show lots of interest and love.
I will try my best to be back and be one with the members once again.

Please show lots of love for Super Junior, which is the beginning of me and the end,
and I wish that our fans stay healthy and filled with luck.
I’ll be back~~~

and lastly...CANNOT WAIT FOR SHINee's comeback too! kekeke im SOO loving their new hairstyles so far...except for minho's...but close one eye la huh.ahahhhahaa....wierdly i esp like jonghyun's!

oooo....SOOO NOT LOVING ft's new concept...sighs....seunghyun's hairstyle still the same-ish...jaejin and jonghun's hair is long-ish and honggi's is just....weird. sobs.

shall upload pics later

bell

random 221st posting

from he's just not that into you:
girls feed on drama. girls love the drama. they tend to overthink things and misread the signals.


as i always say i hate changes. and now....i think i dont need the drama in my life either. i just wanna live it simply and without complications. looks like its hard for me to adapt to new things & new feelings. but from experience...i have learnt i shouldn't
let my heart rule over my head. therefore...i have decided...this is where it ends. everything should just stop here.

but i should do what scares me. and something now is scaring me. that is making my head spin.and mentally exausted from thinking...

from i kissed dating goodbye:

when you are feeling lonely. it is god calling you to come to him. instead of filling yourself with the material things of the world. fill yourself with his word and spend time with him.

that is something i should start doing. this book is really really good

lastly

i always belive that inside beauty is better than outside...

bell

5th post in china

lol im back to one of my fav past times which is blogging....post no. 220.

ytd played badminton here with glenn, levina and yu yuan. woots~ been ages since i last played badminton....we bought SUPER cheapo badminton rackets....the guys were scary with the smashes and what not. but i had my pro-ness too =P muahahahahha. ㅋㅋㅋ awesome game...cannot wait to play again soon. although there is this big bruise on my wrist...again...but u know how i am with bruises and pain =P kya~ miss playing with lynn alot alot! ='(

other things i would like to do is cycle and go k-ing here! lol. another 11 more weeks....plenty of time to get that done =)

suddenly like listening to jay chou and david tao songs again....esp slow ones. hmmm....the lyrics are just....

levina and lynn's fashion sense is starting to influence me.lol. in a way that u can never imagine! hint hint inner fashion =x
lynn i miss u ttm T.T! i will hug u tightly when i come back!

eeks! Shinee HB finish alr! i think i may just cry at the last ep! and junsu came and gone alr. and yunho was sooo close to us...in shanghai! sighs. ahhhh....dbsk! i miss em TTM....thinking abt them now...-criess- junsu, yoochun and jaejoong are gonna have a concert in tokyo dome and osaka dome without the other 2! i mean though junsu is my fav....BUT! how can! its soooo incomplete! and now weirdly enough i like jae more than ever coz of this whole thing....i mean...i suddenly LOVE ALL OF EM. rawr! i hate SM ent. is it possible i may loose interest in kpop altogether?

hmm....i dont like changes. i'd rather stick to it even though i know its not good for me. but right now this change is driving me crazy! tell me im making the right change....

i MUST MUST MUST starting doing QT.

the weather here is damn hot alr its driving me nuts! its so humid making me feel sticky and disgusting!rawr

bell

4th post in china

woo~ the labour day holidays~! awesomeness TTM.kekekke.

went to tengwang ge and musical fountain ytd....it was SOOOOO romantic to watch the couples watch the musical fountain...i was thinking how romantic it would be if i was with my boyfriend watching this.ahhahahaha.

then today wanted to go and eat mac breakfast but it ends at like 10! unlike SG. so we ended up eating lunch instead. hmm....cheaper then SG by 1-2 dollars for a meal. gonna go even earlier tmr for their breakfast that levina and verlyn seems so excited abt. LOL.

then went to watch movie! it was AWESOME. though i got quite horrified by some scenes where it was REALLY violent. ahahaha i think its so funny how i can watch ghost shows and laugh.... but this...i become a scared mouse and cry.lol. and its quite gross how people here spit in the cine too...i just hope its not on the carpet.

on another note.....i lost my temper 2 days in a row! i had a shock at myself too! wow. ytd was at a serivce staff at a place coz she kept on insisting that wasnt my order and i took from another table! that is TOTALLY WTF. i mean she is implying im stealing! HELLO! DO I LOOK THAT POOR?!?!
and today....got like 3-4 people just cut infront of me in the toilet.WTH.rawr! then i kinda cried in the toilet coz im angry at myself for being angry at them.lol. what happened to the fruits of the spirit of self-control, gentleness, joy, forgiveness?sighs.

hmmm thankgoodness for the scrub the rc girls gave me...AWESOMENESS TTM! kekeke...! i smell sooo nice ahahhaha and makes my skin feel sooo clean esp since china is sooo dusty and stuff....

there is an internal battle going on within me everyday.rawr. im afraid of letting old memories go and new memories to come in..... and wow. he never fails to shock/surprise me with something everyday.ahahaha. that is a good thing btw. but the effect it has on me....not sure if its a good thing....
things are getting complicated to me. sighs. i wish everything was much more simple...and now it isnt even 1 mth since we are here!

the stars in the sky are so clear
i feel like i could just lie here,
with you next to me.
then, everything will fall into place nicely.

bell