death. that word always triggers the word "uncertainty" to me. when it hits u it hits u. u just never knw when. i wont say im glad my grams died early. but i think being an emotional crazy person i am, i wld totally bawl my eyes out....so when they did pass away at my very young age of i-can-barely-rmb, i was clueless and didnt really feel a thing actually.
although i do regret tt i cn spend much time w em and my maternal grandma cnt pass down her awesomely yummilicious nonya cooking and hsewife abilities to me.
the news only sunk in and processed slowly in my brain. like hw an ink leak slowly seeps into the pages of papers....before reality struck and i started to play out all the possibilities in my head
i knw myself. or at least this part of it. and it scares me to think if that part that i knw. actually goes and proves itself to me during these 2 yrs.
and so now time is of the essence....between now and the day that may just set us apart for the next 2 years. or at least few weeks first, every single time spent tgt is impt. and yet there are other aims and goals on his mind. its always like this u knw. but prolly wads a priority to me isnt to him. still trying to understand our differences. find similarities amidst our differences.
and now finally all the things that i thought in my head tt im gg to do to prepare for this day and during the 2 yrs....i gotta put into practice.
anyways stupid shit of a uni hasnt gotten back to me yet till nw. really contemplating giving it up alr and just plan on my working...but figured mummy wld kill me if i were to give up e opportunity. so...i guess if i were accepted i cn go do my soul searching ltr on. or nt....
so i wld really like to be given the opportunity to discover my other interests....
i cnt believe tt just another less than 2 weeks and its off to korea. wow. why has the excitement fizzled? but i guess it would re-ignite agn ltr nearer to the date...
oh and mission trip in june. wow. lotsa preperations to be done.
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