it dawned on me yesterday that i have already passed the 21 yrs old mark. the adulthood age. and this year i am 22. and graduating from uni in a yr. cld've been in another 6 mths :/ but ohwells.
anyway in a yrs time. i am supposed to go out there in to the working world. and earn my own keep. yes until now i take pocket money from my mum. but i know next time i would be giving her pocket money without her having to ask.
the thought is daunting. what is installed for me in the future? what if i cant get a job. or a job that i like. did i rly study the wrong course? i prolly took a wrong turn and all the engineering has dampened my passion for food science. and also. they say ppl become more lonely as their grow up/old. on top of that...one day in the midst of growing up. my mum will not be around anymore. depressing i know. without knowing it, she has rly aged the past few yrs.
and to take the growing up part a step further. what happens when i have my own family. my own children. will i be a good wife, a good mother? and will i still have time for myself? its no longer a game. those imaginative role playing games we played when we were young. its the real thing now.
sure i make adult hood seem rly scary and sad. thats how i feel thinking abt it. all the uncertainties.
once u pass that 21st birthday. once u had ur dream come true to be an adult. once all the hype is gone. what's left is just uncertainties and the realization that now everything just got more real. and that soon the burden on my shoulders would grow heavier although there will be no more exams or tests or grades to be concerned about. there are other versions of tests and grades that are awaiting me.
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