working life

i srsly cnt imagine hw it would be in the future when i start working....and if i have to juggle family at that....and with heels? hah.

its early nights and aching feet for me whenever i reach home...the last time i touched my lappy was on monday....

week filled with many ups and downs disappointments, anger, laughter u name it i think i felt it.

i was so pissed w the terrible handling of applications from massey university. see the thing is i am someone who trusts ppl very easily. 100% when i first see them. but once they break my trust....its down to 0% nt even 50%. so i'd forever think tt u'd make the same mistake again. yeah sure ppl deserve second chances and to err is human....but nt when u r e one who has the control of another person's life. tt is just fucked up.

and on another hand i have this huge problem at hand...someone makes me disappointed big time all the time. mayb its just me thinking too much. or expecting too much. mayb because i haf experience relationships or also just looking at the others' this isnt something anyone deserves. yeah sure no one is the same....every relationship wld be different. but this is just so screwed up. its like no mateer hw much i am telling myself nt to have too much expectations i would still end up expecting at least the basics but even the basics cant be fulfilled. i think he better thank me when he ends up married w his future wife for the basics i have taught him coz honestly i dont see anything w him right nw. i cnt be wrong when everyone has the same opinion as me both guys and girls. i cnt rmb the last time i has really happy.

and another thing i dont understand is why do ppl sign in on msn and then go AFK for hrs and hrs? i mean sure just leave ur com on for all i care. but seriously? go on msn and then AFK? wad's the freaking point in that.

hah. my mum says i get more fiery as i grow up. LOLS. agreed. these few days i feel like im someone who isnt afraid to say wad i feel.....gd and bad i guess. i have always been like tt since i was young....only i learnt hw to laugh more to camouflage the fire in me =x

i cnt wait for the holiday in korea where i cn just have a break frm this all. i hope.....

the holidays so far

The first part time job of e holidays... at an event booth at EXPO...boring much hahaha.but e envy of some to b able to be paid to stone all day...but Im working for e money to go Korea...lols. I really hope we'd b able to go w out any hiccups coz I have been wanting to go there since 2 yrs ago....but no chance T.T...I hope e radiation hoo ha wont b e cause of e let down this time...

SIGHS. I wan go cheap shopping leh...Urgh those 2 girls went bkk alr for shopping and then 1 gg hk agn...wish my mum was more fun type like theirs ...:(

Anyways really Irritating when someone says one thing and does smth else...or doesn't mean It...happens a lot..guilty to say I do it too...

Had dinner w dom his bro n vina ytd...hehe.lotsa laughter...I think e most I had this week considering my week was so mundane n lifeless... next time work life would b like tt too x.x but Anyways e combination of e two bros r just awesome for entertainment.heh. I hope we'd have outings tgt till we're old n grey n laugh till our detures fall off...heh!

Lunch time soon...I wanna go shop during lunch. Heh. n by e time I return frm lunch it'll b 5 hrs to end of work. Yay :)

Oh jyj coming soon :) n I wanna stay over w dom n vina :( I wish my mum n aunty Sharon wld go overseas n leave Me alone at hm...y other ppl gt so much experience but I don't? U my mum has to b protective to tt extent? I'm thinking of chalet....heh. anyone?

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hellow yellow

ok. so....latest news to later news. ahahah been a long time. i really thought i posted one post recently.

erm japan hit by massive earthquake....imagine it hits singapore! @.@ quick tell ur loved ones how much u erm....love them. ahahas.
thank god really.

results will be out soon. like this coming thurs or smth....nt sure but really nervous abt it....really SUPER.

lately the dramas i have completed and are DREAM HIGH (woots awesome. watched it twice) and just recently completed my princess. now i am gg to either start on prosecutor princess or secret garden...which ever i start on first i would definately complete both...

now currently in the process of waiting for job offers for events. events are the best because u dont do the same kinda jobs all the time and also the pay is quite good and normal human hours. ahahas. i havent actually done an event job before though...mayb it isnt as good as it seems. however, from wad dom says it sounds pretty good =)

9 mths and still gg strong. im still learning and still trying my best to be erm...the best. AHAHS. thing is questions can never stop going through my head.......wad is the purpose wad do we have etc...but i have stopped overthinking or rather i am overthinking less....hmmm is it coz i have gotten over that phase, or there is nth to think abt anymore? both would be good ofcoz =)
but that spark in my eyes....is never the same as ever. i guess that spark was stolen and never returned...hmmm

ahh the hols r here....so books are in for reading nw =) recently read the love trainer. ahhahas. sightful but deadly. if i follow those i think i would end up killing myself in the process.
basically it is like treating guys like dogs. and giving them 'dog training' so that they would obey u and be more behaved...to each its own i guess...

exciting week this week =) update soon! this post is getting too long alr. =x

사랑해 baby love~

vday and MP day. over.

so. this yr's vday was pretty unforgetable...! =)

our class had a vday exchange presents day. ahahas. tt happens when ur class is all girls except 1. so the guy has no choice but to agree to it =P i had a bag full of goodies! and it was so funny hw the Lders were moving here and there in flavours trying to reserve as many seats as we cld for our class. everytime we see someone finishing we'll eye their table. then when they leave we CHIONG and put bags to chope! ahhahaha. typical SGreans.

that day was a day i wont forget coz at the end of the day....i recieved the more unexpected, best present of all =D lovelovelove. =) the first vday *winks*

then after tt it was pretty much preparing for MP poster etc and today was the long awaited MP poster presentation. and the FINALY leg of the race. everyone had different timings for the interview and the room was in a total cam whoring session! ahahas. it was fun and yet nw it seems to sink it that there are some ppl there i may not see anymore after this coming mon.....wow. soooo surreal...

soon the PDM test and ND exam would be over. and we'd all be moving on to the next phase of our lives. everyone needing to make big decisions on what to do next....i for one hate making decisions like that coz im so afraid of making the wrong choices....
and on top of that i hate getting use to new environments all over again....i'd be lucky if i get a similar class to A8A4 in uni or whatever.

MP 80% over!

yes! we submitted our FINAL report today! wow. im amazed at the speed we work at! i love u guys ttm =)

although tiring. it is fun working through the night with people u enjoy working with. ahahas. REALLY through the night man!
and when u finally do everything finish and u know u've given ur best shot. that is when u feel e sense of achievement!

lately been super addicted to a k drama called dream high. esp one of the songs. teehee. i really dont want sch to end so soon. but when i think of all the catching up of dramas to do....ICANTWAIT.LOL

im soo amazed sometimes that no matter hw busy i am my mind cn still wander off on its own and think about things totally unrelated. gees. im over thinking everything again =/ and my imagination just starts to run wild =/ irriating feeling....i hate it whenever this happens...nt tt it doesnt happen when im bust...just less. but SUPER bad when im FREE. =/

i really wonder and questions myself all the time...

anyways so its the poster presentation left! eks! scared!

hecticness

These few days school has been really hectic! more n more skipping of lunch coz we need to rush to do projects inbetween e classes we have. even weekends r burned by projects. ha! but in e face of adversity. always wear a smile. yupps. i welcome the stress and challenges that i face throughout this time.
I mean the number of petri dishes we use for microbial testing is like woah! i counted it n it amted to 108! n thats like petri dishes alone. then there r e mpn tubes. woah!
Hahaha lately totally love twitter. love it even more than fb. i nv really liked fb anyways...just for e sake of pics.

These few days been thinking too much! idk when i will ever learn to stop thinking n start taking things into my stride. And just be satiafied with what i have. I mean its not tt i. nt contented. just the human greed always wants more n seek perfection n my defence mechanism always works at super power. really tiring n irritating as well. zzzz

planned to slp early last night but i only slept @ 3+. y? coz i put others before myself. i need to think of myself more...coz this is a selfish world. if i dont look out for myself no one would either...

Reunion dinner tonight.always a small n quiet affair...and never at hm...when I have a family of my own I'm. Hoping it wld all be diff...

School ends on 1st march for me. omg. 4wks more! n just another 3wks of classes! more hecticness to come i cn predict! x.x

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Last few weeks

just another 6 more weeks of sch! oh how time flies. lately been having less and less time for personal life. and more and more time spent in sch and using my brains. LOL. i cnt wait to do brainless activities such as chionging dramas on lappy or cooking my lunch and waking up at 1pm. or waking up earlier to exercise. URGH. feel fat these few days . not been exercising! tsk! everytime i wanna exercise smth comes up. like tmr. wanted to go swim. but need to do ND project.
ok i know MP sucks. but seriously, its a much better project compared to ND or PDM. lols.

ahhh....been sleeping too late lately. black circles under eyes.

waking up early tmr for ND project. so i think i deserve to slp earlier tonight. ahhahas.

permed my hair btw. ahahs. didnt tell u guys that. hmmm.... pretty ex considering how long i think the curls would last. BUT! i love the waves =) its like my dream hair. ahahhas XD. as long as it lasts till aft new year. but the hassle of preparing it every morning is time consuming. zzz always end up being late for sch coz i cant seem to be able to wake up any earlier.

no matter how fast i want sch to end so that its the end of the sucky projects, i fear the unknown. zzz. esp when i dont like taking risks and chances. hmm...i shld be an A+ blood type. ahahhas.

tahs~

as the time passes

tmr i am gg to the aust. uni open hse. how time flies and now i need to decide on what i want to do for the next league of my life. i am someone who hates changes after i have gotten used to and gotten comfortable with what i have. i am someone who dont adapt to changes easily.

i know u may say i am a coward. or i am not independent enough or whatever. but the thing is... i am scared to go overseas. to leave the ones i love behind. to leave the friendships and relationships behind. and be alone. esp if levina doesnt go with me. i mean who's to know what will become of those when i come back in 2 yrs time? i know prolly 2 yrs is a fast time. but. who's to say what can happen between this time?

as for now. i am needing a break from all this. things are spiralling downwards and soon we wont be able to communicate anymore. i am becoming too complacent. i need to put up my defence system once again. or else. the one to get hurt the most would be me.

my eyes closes with fatique
as my heart closes with weariness
i sense the present warmth
but i cannot forget the past coldness

yes. it haunts me.
it never forgets me.
and every now and then.
it comes back and scares me.

just when i close my eyes.
and fall into slumber
it doesnt make my mind any numb-er
instead my heart is exposed to the pain yet again

like a mimosa's name,
'touch me not'
the bad memories with you
seems to be 'forget me not'

the new year

been so tired and busy that i havent had the time to just sit down. clear my mind and reflect on the year that has passed and have new resolutions for the new year.

how i celebrated the new year. guilty to say. i chose going drinking with buddies than watchnight service at church with lgee =x well it was a new different experience =x
it was really fun with dom ka jun dom's bro ernest goh and ofcoz dear levina who agreed to go with me. otherwise i'd be the only girl and it'd be so awkward.
it was really nice to see nicholas after so long and to actually sit down tgt with ka jun rather than just hearing his name all the time. LOL.
me and levina practically chionged to the bar so that we'd make it in time for happy hour. LOLs. we had a mango margarita and sunrise tequilla respectively and we shared a strawberry daiquiri =)
nicholas was the hiong one. LOL. he had like 4 drinks? so we gt to try a huge variety =) ahahha.
dom has got to be like my bestest guy friend ever. feel so comfortable arnd him =D

but then sat and sun today was like crap. felt so zombie-fied. lack of slp. sighs. this coming week is hell week. i think i cant wait for it to be over! its like so many things for us to do and its not stopping. zomg. help. eks.

ok im gg to get back to MP now. i hope that the rest of they year would be awesome. even more awesome than the previous. AHAHHA. i must say that the previous yr, 2010 was kinda interesting for me. ah. reflections shall do that tonight.