its just sooo wierd to me how he can thug at my heart strings though i swear i long have no feelings for him.
its so wierd how he can make me worry abt him still even though it has been ages ago
wierdly enuf...it hurts me when i sms him and his reply is who are you?
and yet....i reply his smses instantly whenever.
when he suddenly smses me out of the blues i get surprised...
when he tells me some relationship problems..i try to help him...but secretly hate myself for it...wishing it would fail instead.
initially whenever i look back i only look at how much i hate the times spent with him
but now....its how much i miss those feelings to be loved and taken care of in such a way.
i also love to love someone and care for someone in that way
is it coz i'm clinging on and cant let go of the past?
coz i miss the feeling of being loved and taken care of in such a way?
coz i am lonely...? and that kinda loneliness that no best friend could take away?
how could he be soo happy there and yet....im over here?
i always believed him to be my soulmate...even though i hated him in away...only he...for some reason could read and understand my heart and mind better than anyone else.he always had the right things to say and the right actions.
and you know what they say abt soulmates.you have only 1 in your whole entire life.
but then again...u may not be with your soulmate.BOF moments much?
if only things didnt turn out the way it did...would i be happier?
occassionally i dream of him....and i wonder how come i never bump into him somewhere on the streets.afterall singapore is only this big.
=bell=(has finished being depressed)
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