no improvement

i really wonder if i have depression...or maybe bipolar?one moment im happy and the next i get irritated/angsty/sad/crying/
it takes so little to trigger the tears to fall from my eyes. things hasnt changed or improved much since the last post. im at a loss. all i can do is wallow in self pity and cry. 

dear is just a poor thing. needing to take care of his own problems with my own also on his shoulders.
i can help him or other's with their problems. i just cnt seem to help myself. 

for the past 1 year....since last year august 2011 to now september 2012, i cant rmb another time like this that i was this unhappy all the time. i do try to make myself be happy in front of others, in front of friends. but when im alone at home. when i am free...that's when it all begins. usually that happens before bed...so crying to sleep is starting to become a practice. 

changes need to be made. changes need to start. soon i will be 21. perhaps then...that is when all will start changing...