i never seem to be able to not expect anything. although i may say that i didnt have any expectations. the moment someone disappoints you proves that u did have that slight bit of expectation.
When i help someone. i dont expect anything in return. i dont think that HA. now you owe me one. but sometimes just that one word of thanks do make a huge difference. makes the help all worth while. makes it less tiring.
i really hate the way im wired. im like the extreme of the extremes. especially this week. so many breakdowns. so much emotions. although actions speak a thousand words. certain words can amplify pain and sadness by a thousand times. depending on the weight of the words that the person carries, determine the power of their words.
and this week has emphasised to me that a relationship isnt just two. nope. its not 1+1= 2..it is 1+1+ (how many family members ) = 2 + (how many family members) and guess what. at the end of the day. there is that one who will not belong. one that will stick out. after all blood is thicker than water.
no one is perfect. that i know. and the more i try to be, the more it seems to backfire on me. so tiring. that through every stage of life, people struggle to be accepted.
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