stepped away from reality.

today went to sch at 9am for a talk...supposed to last till 12 but ended arnd 10.30-11am...
was cool to sit in a fellow classmate's car....had lunch with Lders, benjamin and jim. wierd combi but....oh well brought us all a step closer.
Lders went orchard area and shopped for FTi's present.teehee. found it...we bought....-twinkles-*.* its a dirty little secret =X

then after we seperated ways i finally went to ikea to get my big box to dump and camouflage my room such that it looks neater.oops.

i took this from LZ's blog...where he took from another blog.

(p.s change the gender of the stick figure.) connect the dots urself please.nothing else could be more complicated.dots.

i am terrified to sleep. me and mummy attempted to kill a lizard and it just disappeared....eeks! sorry levina for teasing u the other time =( its retribution! gonna take lots of precautions now. mothballs, panda leaves, tea bangs.lol

bell

been waiting for this day for far too long....

ahhh today was GR888T!
if only everyday was like today TOTAL highligh of the year so far...going out with vivian, nicholas, andrius and ianson. sometimes i really wish i turn back time... thats why memories are so important i guess. really miss em so much! =( -sobs-

and also...got lots of things done for H&W project.yayness.

my internet is still irritating me though.

tmr setting off to buy FT present. WOOTS just less than 2 weeks more and i can see jonghun oppa!! and following 2 more days i can shake his hand.eeks! -faints-

guilt is a scary thing...kept me tossing and turning all night...however.... it is most likely a misinterpretation on my part anyways

seems like there are still somethings i have yet to let go...or just cant seem to let go =(

bell

state of confusion

eks BD cut hair...and now that the eastern europe trip experience has worn off....looks like he is back on the top.

things are looking much brighter today and hopefully tmr.after the appearance of BD the winds seemed to have changed direction. ahahha. hope to keep it that way as tons of test waiting for me to study.

h&w project is getting fun...to me that is...coz i have the experience of tryna make/design keychains...sourcing materials from various sources...suddenly like event planning...lol. and also thanks to my awesome grp mates who have such patience with me.ahahha. i think all 5 of us complement each other well =) LOVE <3!

i cannot be affected by what others say. its driving me crazy with the same same question in my head. i don wanna add an 's' to that word.

how come after all this years u can still make me shed unwanted frustrated tears?


bell

typical singaporeans

i hate it when ppl cut q and they think they are in the right.i hate it even more when i just shut up and let it happen.

another terrible day. the days just keep winning each other in that aspect.
the fact that exams are coming soon aren't any comfort.

what's the use of having handfones when u don pick em up? esp when someone called just short of 10 times. when this happens a sorry would be nice.

is it better to cry due to frustrations/anger, to cry due to fear or to cry due to sadness?
been doing too much of all lately.

the only best thing today. going to HPB.

why wasnt i born with a better brain? at this rate...how could i study up to masters?

bell

on thin ice

ADFS makes me impatient and irritated....i think evil thoughts when i see dr mabel.
last night and today...another terrible day....

i can forsee another contributing factor to the thin ice breaking...H&W project....

i don think anything could get worse right?? it better not.

just another 16 more days to see FTi.

bell

.....

yes as i predicted...ytd was a wasted day. and so was today.
i shld just go and live in sch....since i spend most of my waking day there....on avg 91/2 hrs a day. only 5 hrs at home AWAKE. but then again...most of the time spend at home is also dedicated much to sch. so.....life is so unfair sometimes...and studying is such a misery.
but don get me wrong...when i say wasteed is not coz i spend the whole day doing sch work...is coz i DIDNT do ANY.

i hate thinking i need to depend on anyone for any reason. but sad truth i do.

i constantly question myself abt my faith. im trying to do more things to increase it. to prove to myself its my own willingness and not by default. but i still see myself far from the rest. and in that aspect i have no confidence. i just don see god working in my life all the time. i don feel his presence. im so afraid one day i'll just decide to leave.

bell

weekends?

is friday considered a weekend? i think it was the best day of the week this week?
collected FT fanmeet tix from farah and poster too. awesomeness. on top of that...cycling at ecp with LITTLE ppl arnd so it was DA BOMB.lol. the sea was sooo blue...and the sky too except the sun was too hot but it was really windy...although it threatened to rain ocassionaly...it only rained after we finished.WOOTS. if there was this...would fridays be as exciting anymore? esp if lgee was changed to sat.

now is already sat. shld be considered sun already. why do i feel like my weekends have been wasted alr? i can just imagine tmr (sun) being wasted away too....hmm sometimes i REALLY feel i have to DRAGG myself arnd....esp today. i dun like it when i feel like its such a chore. i feel insincere....? why i cant i be like the rest? but then again....i wouldnt really know if they feel its a chore too.

i like to try and keep things simple and naive when it comes to these kinda things. why is there frenship politics? no wonder ignorance is bliss...

bell

2010

the year 2010 seemed promising to me in 2009....but when i think abt it...all the 'promising' things seem to disappear...im starting to get negative again...which sucks and is terrible.
right now i must say im not the happiest person in the world in singapore in the east or in my hse.

my obession is getting worse...i feel like i am going insane with thoughts in my head..even while typing this my obession is taking over me....this is crazy. but i cant help it....what can i do? mayb it isnt anything serious....and im making a mountain out of a molehill. but....to me....

cant wait for FT island to come in 22 days when i can take out my dusty pentastick and wave frantically abt and shouting my voice hoarse....but then again....nothing would make me happier when the day comes that dbsk is back together...all as it was before....listening to their songs make me sad. watching them perform together makes me cry. it isnt even 2 years since i fell in love with em. i shld have noticed them earlier. definately dragging my dvds to china with me. prolly if everything is terrible....that and levina would be the only thing keeping me sane.

anyone has a reliable chinese electronic dictonary to lend? traditional book type also welcome.
sleep deprieved me....

=bell=

fan girling part 31

anjell live performance...yonghwa <3!
SHINee performance at golden disk awards shinee world+RDD woots~ they look good and have some new slick moves yo!

suju sorry sorry remix! LOVEEE ryowoks voice. no idea if i spelt correctly. i coundnt recognise it was sorry sorry at first =P

no time to talk much. need to study tahhs

bell

love x3

okay i am rushing my assignments now. eeks. been super busy since the new year started. first it was our LGee new year party at Ryan's hse.with potluck,gift exchange and reflections abt the year. plus watching UP and attack of the pin up boys (suju) i didnt sleep till 4?

then the next morning, at 10am is amy and ber's wedding. woots! he looks awesome in his military uniform and she looks sooo stunning in her wedding dress. sighs...AND they had the sword arch by the groom's fellow army people in uniforms too.where the bride and groom walked under
the wedding lasted till 1 plus and i went over to rach's hse to slack for a while before meeting XY and mao mao at bedok to buy ingredients for our steamboat & grill dinner.

anyways...reflecting on the year made me really thankful so i really would like to give a shout out of thanks
thank you my life group the tam tams.esp ryan. u guys have really helped me grow with my walk with god and i REALLY hope we can be in the same LG for at least 10 more years.ahahha.thanks to esp the female tam tams for being such great listeners and sharing abt everything under the sun. i think we really bonded alot this year. thank you rachel and dianh for teaching me cycling and encouraging me to be an SGL. thank you rachel for always fangirling with me even when ur tired and asking me to be in the carolling com to get to know all the other carolling com people better. yay! yu ru lets work together and be great SGLs. i believe through this we can help each other grow more with god and also bond more with each other! and yay! liang zhi! FT island;honggi fanboy.teehee.thanks to those who made the bdae cake for me....REALLY wont forget! it was quite touching really.

thanks you Lders.thanks to u two darlings...i am less moody now days...throw tantrums lesser. thanks lynn for being so cute and patient and letting us 2 always poke fun at u! soul sucking 500 yr old lady! aahhaaha. and thanks dearest levina for secluding urself less....and being more positive so i am more positive too! and also sharing and spazzing on eye candies! hehehe.we have heart to heart connection! LOL.

thanks to RC girls. although we seldom get to meet....coz of lots of clash in schedules, but i still really enjoy our outtings...though what we usually talk abt is nothing substantial....there is still alot of laughs. thanks xy and net for ur craziness~ and also mao mao for her patience. i really enjoyed our HK trip. holiday again soon!

my sincere new year wish would be that DBSK would be as one again and come back to korea and release a korean album and start all their perfs and variety programmes togeter

bell