hecticness

These few days school has been really hectic! more n more skipping of lunch coz we need to rush to do projects inbetween e classes we have. even weekends r burned by projects. ha! but in e face of adversity. always wear a smile. yupps. i welcome the stress and challenges that i face throughout this time.
I mean the number of petri dishes we use for microbial testing is like woah! i counted it n it amted to 108! n thats like petri dishes alone. then there r e mpn tubes. woah!
Hahaha lately totally love twitter. love it even more than fb. i nv really liked fb anyways...just for e sake of pics.

These few days been thinking too much! idk when i will ever learn to stop thinking n start taking things into my stride. And just be satiafied with what i have. I mean its not tt i. nt contented. just the human greed always wants more n seek perfection n my defence mechanism always works at super power. really tiring n irritating as well. zzzz

planned to slp early last night but i only slept @ 3+. y? coz i put others before myself. i need to think of myself more...coz this is a selfish world. if i dont look out for myself no one would either...

Reunion dinner tonight.always a small n quiet affair...and never at hm...when I have a family of my own I'm. Hoping it wld all be diff...

School ends on 1st march for me. omg. 4wks more! n just another 3wks of classes! more hecticness to come i cn predict! x.x

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Last few weeks

just another 6 more weeks of sch! oh how time flies. lately been having less and less time for personal life. and more and more time spent in sch and using my brains. LOL. i cnt wait to do brainless activities such as chionging dramas on lappy or cooking my lunch and waking up at 1pm. or waking up earlier to exercise. URGH. feel fat these few days . not been exercising! tsk! everytime i wanna exercise smth comes up. like tmr. wanted to go swim. but need to do ND project.
ok i know MP sucks. but seriously, its a much better project compared to ND or PDM. lols.

ahhh....been sleeping too late lately. black circles under eyes.

waking up early tmr for ND project. so i think i deserve to slp earlier tonight. ahhahas.

permed my hair btw. ahahs. didnt tell u guys that. hmmm.... pretty ex considering how long i think the curls would last. BUT! i love the waves =) its like my dream hair. ahahhas XD. as long as it lasts till aft new year. but the hassle of preparing it every morning is time consuming. zzz always end up being late for sch coz i cant seem to be able to wake up any earlier.

no matter how fast i want sch to end so that its the end of the sucky projects, i fear the unknown. zzz. esp when i dont like taking risks and chances. hmm...i shld be an A+ blood type. ahahhas.

tahs~

as the time passes

tmr i am gg to the aust. uni open hse. how time flies and now i need to decide on what i want to do for the next league of my life. i am someone who hates changes after i have gotten used to and gotten comfortable with what i have. i am someone who dont adapt to changes easily.

i know u may say i am a coward. or i am not independent enough or whatever. but the thing is... i am scared to go overseas. to leave the ones i love behind. to leave the friendships and relationships behind. and be alone. esp if levina doesnt go with me. i mean who's to know what will become of those when i come back in 2 yrs time? i know prolly 2 yrs is a fast time. but. who's to say what can happen between this time?

as for now. i am needing a break from all this. things are spiralling downwards and soon we wont be able to communicate anymore. i am becoming too complacent. i need to put up my defence system once again. or else. the one to get hurt the most would be me.

my eyes closes with fatique
as my heart closes with weariness
i sense the present warmth
but i cannot forget the past coldness

yes. it haunts me.
it never forgets me.
and every now and then.
it comes back and scares me.

just when i close my eyes.
and fall into slumber
it doesnt make my mind any numb-er
instead my heart is exposed to the pain yet again

like a mimosa's name,
'touch me not'
the bad memories with you
seems to be 'forget me not'

the new year

been so tired and busy that i havent had the time to just sit down. clear my mind and reflect on the year that has passed and have new resolutions for the new year.

how i celebrated the new year. guilty to say. i chose going drinking with buddies than watchnight service at church with lgee =x well it was a new different experience =x
it was really fun with dom ka jun dom's bro ernest goh and ofcoz dear levina who agreed to go with me. otherwise i'd be the only girl and it'd be so awkward.
it was really nice to see nicholas after so long and to actually sit down tgt with ka jun rather than just hearing his name all the time. LOL.
me and levina practically chionged to the bar so that we'd make it in time for happy hour. LOLs. we had a mango margarita and sunrise tequilla respectively and we shared a strawberry daiquiri =)
nicholas was the hiong one. LOL. he had like 4 drinks? so we gt to try a huge variety =) ahahha.
dom has got to be like my bestest guy friend ever. feel so comfortable arnd him =D

but then sat and sun today was like crap. felt so zombie-fied. lack of slp. sighs. this coming week is hell week. i think i cant wait for it to be over! its like so many things for us to do and its not stopping. zomg. help. eks.

ok im gg to get back to MP now. i hope that the rest of they year would be awesome. even more awesome than the previous. AHAHHA. i must say that the previous yr, 2010 was kinda interesting for me. ah. reflections shall do that tonight.

post christmas.

wow. i hate poly having only 2 weeks. or rather i hate TP having only 2 weeks. because SP has 3.

i cant believe that in less than a week its the new year already. time for reflections and new resolutions. i shld start thinking alr. LOL. eks. that means im turning 20! LOL. in like 11 mths. =_=

been sleeping at 3-4am these few days. and im amazed at how i can wake up at 10 the next day and not feel sleepy at all. just 6-7 hrs of slp. why cnt i be like this during sch days huh?

so many many things to do. not enough time!! and i havent gone out enough =(

these few days gone shopping. wee~ mon went shop shop with levina. sadly no lynn coz she overseas doing her own shopping in bangkok. and levina gg there like next mth too =_= everyone is getting to buy cheap shopping except me. rawr.
and today i went out shopping and dom. teehee~ kinda weird to be shopping with a guy...just kinda. since he is bestie. he is an exception =)

havent gone out with andrius, vian, nic and ianson in a mth alr! we need to meet soon =P

just another 1mth++-2mths and end of poly?! OMG. that means less than a mth left for MP. EVEN MORE ZOOOMGG. =/ gosh. ok i'm gg back to doing MP. work work work. whooo~!

preparation of slping late agn tonight.

snap back

im back from my ironically unhealthy holiday from shanghai. LOL. technically...arent all holidays unhealthy? LOL. i had like buffet breakfast every day. more than 8 hrs slp every day. FULL 3 meals a day. spend money and shop everyday. and no work done everyday. wow. ultimate tai tai life. LOL. so i shld never be one. or else i'd get fat. as it is nw i feel soooo freaking fat. zzz.

but its the holiday season. and im gonna feel this way till the end of the yr. or at least till the end of the week. i have set myself a limit!

today had our routined at-least-once-a-year steamboat BBQ at my hse with rc girls. as usual lotsa laughter. and realisation that we have known each other fro 3 yrs alr. and everytime this comes up 2 times pop up into my head 1. hw fast time flies and 2. i still find it amazing hw we ALL gt to be such gd friends over just 3-4 mths of working tgt and i have ppl i know for yrs and i never get that close.

busy this week. merry christmas =)

somethings never change. but nothing is forever. ironic much?

dreary christmas

Ok impromptu trip short hol to shanghai.feeling a little uneasy as im dropping my work and enjoying myself when i feel and know i shldnt. plus worried abt work pile up when i come back.but mummy and aunty wants to go so much. But what is there @ shanghai? Shopping and eating not that fantastic either...well @ least there is sanfu and semir =) not that biig consolation though oh well i shld be greatful that i at least get to go for a holiday and not stuck in Singapore the whole two weeks break.
And so term test is ovveerr~ but mp is not. In the lab nw doing shelf life study. Really dry TBC...

now i just dinner @ heeren's newly opened jap buffet. wooo really alot alot of varieties. But price is also like omggg! ex ttm! hahaha. but great environment and person i eat with =)

Ahh so today's shelf life was quite terrible so many hiccips and not enough time =( wrong time for holiday wrong time for christmas sighsss

Tmr gotta wake up @ 5Am!zzzz

Okay back to eating Although full ttm alrrrr
dieting continue aft christmas. lol.

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reflections

term tests next week. looked at the time table once more today and was thinking...hey nth to be that stressed abt really....then agn...hmmmm

ahh feeling like i am at a stand still with MP. and at a total loss and blur with PDM. so little subjects this sem and yet they are all heavy weights.

when i look at my reflection i hardly recognise myself. hah. yes mayb its how much weight i have lost. but also i look so tired. and old. with eye bags and wrinkles. i cnt imagine how i'd look like when i am REALLY old.
i wonder why guys are such external creatures?
these few days has just been wierd. phobia of sleeping. and also the loss of apetite. no im not becoming anorexic. just....dont feel like eating. i DO get hungry. and i KNOW i shld eat. but i just dont feel like eating. im guessing that is still a disorder though.
actually....i can explain the phobia of slping part. =x but not the loss of apetite.

i havent been online since monday. starting to feel like im a loner. LOL. and as i have said a few times on FB. i have bipolar moods. like when i left alone to my thoughts i become some emo deep melancholy person. but when im arnd people. i am my bubbly cute irritating self.
and honestly. although i HAVE found my MP3 i still havent touched it at all. weirdly....i loss an interest to listening to music after not listening to it for 3 weeks alr.

just a week more to my impromptu holiday to shanghai. i wonder if i shld have a total R&R or shld i continue with my workaholic streak. im worried what a R&R would do to my momentum u see.

really envy people who go for FAMILY meals/celebrations/holidays/ or have arguments i'd never get one. lately the feelings of anger, disappointment, resentment has been really strong. blame it on my curiousity.

A sleep.

i wish there was more than 24 hrs in a day. now i see why some people find that 24 hrs isnt enough.
coz it would be best if i had like 8-10 hrs of slp aday every single day. ahahaha. now im lucky if i get 6 hrs a day.

it got so bad yesterday that i could type half way. just close my eyes for a sec and actually fall aslp with my hand still on the laptop. AHAHAH. imagine that sight. i can even dream for a moment and then wake up to find that i am still typing something half way.

and so this week has been quite busy? lotsa MP stuffs to be accomplished but nothing done. sighs. mayb we arent delegating well?

honestly, i guess sometimes i do get sian of keep working with the same people tgt in the same grp right? BUT. the convinience and comfortable working style ur used to is the best. so....i LOVE working with the Lders and CLIQUE 6. =) and aiya. now feel that A8A4 is the best. and that through MP. im getting to know people from other courses better. ahahha.

term test is soon. and im scared that i cant cope with the stuffs to study especially with so many projects and deadlines taking up most of my time. i must have better time management.

time flies. the sem is ending soon. and then here comes overseas trips!!! XD and planning for further studies =/ just the thought of seperation from friends and family saddens me =(

in serious need of more money... and i truely regret not going for MNET concert =( like hello....free fan mtg included la! tsk. unfair.