14th post in china

and so the weekends are just peeking around the corner. lalala~ shld i be looking forward?

it finally rained today after the past few days of scorching sun. just came back to work today but as usual doing nothing. i better prepare for the hot weather to come. need sunblock. and the dorm room is getting quite stuffy and hot. zzzz....

there are many reasons why i dont like to show my true feelings.
1. so that u wont feel vulnerable
2. to avoid hurt/offence
3. some true feelings are ugly.

sometimes i wish that i had no emotions. i hate sadness, anger, jealousy, sometimes even happiness. coz i always wonder....how long can i be this happy before my bubble bursts?

quote: if u never take the risk to get hurt. u never know what kinda of happiness u can get.

but sometimes.....is it really worth it?

its funny how me and andrius have seemed to grow apart. ever since that last misunderstanding... now i realise it was all along me keeping us together. did it really had to take a fight to see? i guess i was just ignoring that fact all along and in denial. maybe i should have taken a step back earlier to see the bigger picture. do i need to find everything new about him through FB? it saddens me alot to how things come to a stage like this. or am i just overthinking things and he is really just busy. i just have to try working things out again when i go back.....to shorten the gap between us.

suddenly wonder how different things would be when i go back to SG.

bell